


College. What More Is There To Say?

by slutforsansa



Category: Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Eventual Romance, Eventual Smut, Fluff and Angst, Multi, Self-Harm, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-06-19
Updated: 2019-06-20
Packaged: 2020-05-14 15:47:57
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,719
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19276429
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/slutforsansa/pseuds/slutforsansa
Summary: Arya stark begins her freshman year at Kings Landing University a year and a half after she experienced a major traumatic life event. Gendry Waters, a family friend, is desperate to get closer to Arya and get her to enjoy college life.TRIGGER WARNINGSMention of sexual assault, self harm





	1. Chapter 1

Arya Stark had never considered herself to be a cautious person. When she began kickboxing when she was 11, she dove into the sport with a visceral enthusiasm that scared almost everyone around her. In her first competition, her opponent punched her in the face so hard her jaw cracked. But it only filled her with a sense of ruthless determination to excel at the sport. Even after she gained multiple bruises and black eyes, she never found herself shying away from it.

When she was 14 and at a party, Meryn Trant dared her to take her shirt off in front of all the partygoers. Sufficiently drunk and determined not to be a wuss, she ripped her shirt off and hardened her stance as the people around her jeered and prodded at her naked upper half. She didn’t even flinch when Joffrey Baratheon tried to pinch one of her nipples before she caught his arm and broke his wrist.

When she was 16, she was walking home on a dark and abandoned street when a man grabbed her from behind and covered her mouth with his hand. He managed to pull her pants down before she punched him in the groin and began to kick at his face, stopping only when the police had arrived. By then, his face was almost unrecognizable. Had he not tried to assault her, she would have been sent to juvie.

Arya Stark was fearless, full of a relentless sense of rage that allowed her to face the word with a dauntless tenacity that few people possessed. But that was before.

Not that she would ever admit it, but she was scared of going to college. As her parents pulled up to the entrance of Kings Landing University, she felt dread settle in the pit of her stomach.

“Are you excited, sweetheart?” her father, Ned Stark, asked as he looked at her through the rearview mirror.

“Totally,” she replied, mustering an enthusiastic smile as she pushed down her nausea.

“You should be,” her mother, Catelyn Stark replied, continuing, “These are going to be the best years of your life Arya. Be sure not to waste them,” She turned around and gave Arya an encouraging smile.

Her mother’s eyes searched hers for a moment before her expression softened into a look of understanding.

“It’s alright to be nervous, you know. It’s a big step in your life,” she said, smiling at her daughter.

“I’m not,” Arya said, her voice hard. She may have been cautious, but she was still stubborn. _Some things never change_ , she guessed.  
“It’s alright if you are, darling,” Catelyn said, with a tone that conveyed the end of the discussion.

Arya rolled her eyes and looked out the window. To be truthful, she wasn’t exactly sure why she decided to go to college. When she pictured the way she wanted her life to go, college was never in the picture. This caused quite a bit of contention between her and her parents, to no one’s surprise. She always pictured that she would purchase a studio apartment in King’s Landing with the money from her trust fund and begin her private art studio there. She already knew how to do art. She didn’t need a bunch of entitled middle-aged white people to tell her things she already knew.

The plan changed though, after the incident. College soon became a reality once she realized that if she stayed at home, her mother and father would continue to smother her with concerned looks and pitying tones. Even if she hated the idea of college, she hated the idea of being stuck with her parents even more. She supposed it was unfair to them, as all they wanted to do was help her. But deep down, Arya knew the truth. No one could help her. Not really, at least.

At 19, Arya felt embarrassed that she was a year older than all the freshmen at King’s Landing University. She had spent a year at home after the stint at the hospital, and was kept under near constant supervision. After the first month at home, she felt herself becoming more and more stifled. Her only solace was her art, which was also constantly monitored. Anything that was considered suicidal sent her straight back to her outpatient treatment.

By the time the tenth month at home rolled around, she felt like she was positively vibrating with unbridled, restless energy. Her sister Sansa, home on break from Kings Landing University, immediately noticed her agitation.

“Arya, you don’t have to stay at home, you know,” Sansa said, sitting down on Arya’s bed.

“I don’t see any other choice,” she said, frustration creeping into her tone.

Sansa gave Arya a look.

“You could always go to college,” Sansa said, practically singing by the end of the sentence.

Arya turned around to glare at her older sister. Sansa knew exactly how Arya felt about going to college.

“All I’m saying is they would let you move out if you went to college. And who knows, maybe it’s not as bad as you think it is,” Sansa continued, looking hopeful.

Arya rolled her eyes.

“Why, so I can go meet the perfect blond boy of my dreams?” Arya near snarled.

Sansa looked nonplussed.

“Ned is a great guy, Arya. You know that. And it’s not about that! It’s about achieving a greater goal and trying to better yourself for your future,” Sansa said, getting a dreamy look in her eyes.

“You don’t want to get better?” she asked, shooting Arya a timid glance.

Arya felt herself exhale. With her track record the past two years, she supposed she shouldn’t be surprised that her nosy older sister was trying to give her a pep talk.

“I’ll think about it, San,” Arya grumbled.

“EEEEEE!” Sansa squealed, “You’re going to love college! You should apply to Kings Landing University so you can be near me and Jon!” Sansa’s smile was positively radiant. Her bright blue eyes were shining with excitement as she got up from Arya’s bed to wrap her in a bear hug.

“I’m just going to think about it San, nothing else,” Arya said, wrapping her arms around Sansa contentedly.

“Of course. Take your time,” Sansa winked at Arya.

xx

Arya looked out the window as her parents pulled the car up to Jon and Sansa’s simple white house with a bright blue door. When their car pulled up to the driveway, the front door opened as Sansa excitedly ran to the car, with Jon following in tow. Upon seeing their smiling faces, Arya couldn’t help but give a small smile. She wasn’t excited to be going to college, but she was excited to spend more time with her favorite siblings.

Arya opened up her door and was immediately drawn into a deep hug from Sansa. She inhaled the familiar and comforting scent of her: citrus, lavender, and Sansa. She allowed herself to close her eyes for a moment while she clung to her sister. She could feel Sansa beginning to pull away, but she clutched onto her tighter before releasing her. Sansa looked down at Arya with a gentle but questioning look. Arya shook her head.

“What, no hug for me?” Jon asked, giving Arya a lopsided grin.

Arya laughed and launched herself into her brother’s arms, feeling as though she was eight years old again. Jon set her down with a smile, his eyes twinkling.

“Did you get taller, ace?” he asked, ruffling her hair.

Arya swatted his hand away and mock growled.

“Shut up, Jon. Maybe you’re just getting shorter,” Arya gave her brother a cheeky grin as he swatted her arm.

“Kids, stop wrestling and help your mother and I carry the boxes to Arya’s room,” Ned said, watching his children with a smile.

Arya and Jon looked at each other and grinned, and quickly got to work.

Arya and her parents had arrived at the house around noon, and it was nearing sunset when they finally finished unboxing all of Arya’s things. They gathered in the living room, eating the take out Sansa had ordered from them. Watching her family, she couldn’t help but smile that they were all together. Sure, they were missing her brothers, but seeing her family together made her feel a sense of security she hadn’t felt in a long time. Ned set down his plate and looked at his family with a satisfied smile.

“Well, I think it’s time for me and your mother to head out, kids,” Ned said, looking at Cat with a fond smile.

“What, already?” Sansa asked, looking disappointed.

“It’s a long drive, darling. It would be best if we got home before the boys go to bed,” Cat said, giving her children a gentle smile, even Jon.

“Well, we certainly don’t want to keep you. Arya’s got a big day tomorrow. Me and Sans are going to show her around campus and pick up her books,” Jon said, shooting Arya an encouraging smile.

Arya tried to swallow the dread that seemed to be lodging itself in her throat. She watched as her family cleaned up the living room and kitchen, and hugged herself when it came time to say goodbye to her parents. She was surprised at how anxious she felt. She loved her parents, but she was never quite attached to them the same way her siblings were. Ned and Cat pulled Arya in for a hug.

“I love you, sweetheart,” Ned said, holding her tight.

“Call if you need anything at all, darling,” Cat said, sounding teary.

“I will,” Arya murmured, suddenly wishing they would never let go.

Her parents pulled apart from the hug and a minute later, were pulling out of the driveway. Arya felt her eyes wet as she watched them pull away from the driveway, watching until she could no longer see the taillights in the distance.

“Alright, I think I’m going to go to my room and chill out before bed,” Arya said, looking at Sansa and Jon.

“Oh, we were going to watch a movie though. Horror, your favorite,” Sansa said, looking very disappointed.

Arya felt her lips pull into a small smile.

“San, lets let her relax. It’s been a big day for her. We’ll see you in the morning, ace,” Jon said, kissing the top of her head.

“Love you, Arya,” Sansa said, pulling Arya in for a tight hug. Arya sighed against her embrace and reluctantly pulled away.

As she walked into her room, Arya stood and observed for the first time. She supposed she liked her room well enough, even if it was a bit bare. There was a full sized bed pushed up against the corner, dressed in her bedding, courtesy of her mother. She had a desk, a bookshelf, and a dresser, all looking quite plain at the moment. She would decorate the place soon enough. It was always hard to keep clean walls with all the art she practiced.

She lay down on her bed and heaved a sigh. She felt vulnerable here, at college and in the South. She felt herself become melancholy as she reminisced on the brisk cold that greeted her every day at Winterfell. Maybe I’ll get used to the warm. _Maybe I’ll even enjoy it_ , Arya thought. She snorted. She was a fish out of water in the South, but it was worth it if it meant she got to spend time with her siblings and move out of her parents’ house.

 _I will like it here. I will try to better myself, just like Sansa said_ , she thought, looking determinedly at the ceiling. She would like it here. She wasn’t sure what she would do if she didn’t.

Climbing underneath the covers, she turned the light off and closed her eyes.

xx

Arya awoke this morning to Sansa jumping on her bed, jostling Arya’s body awake. Her red hair seemed especially bright this morning, her eyes even more blue than the day before. She looked positively radiant. Arya tried not to feel bitter that her sister looked this good at eight o’clock in the morning.

“San, what the fuck are you doing?” Arya asked, rubbing her eyes blearily.

“Waking you up, silly! We’ve got a big day ahead of us. No time for sleeping in!” she said, pinching Arya’s cheeks and laughing when she swatted Sansa away.

“You have a half hour to get ready and eat breakfast. After that, me and Jon are going to show you around and help you find all the buildings your classes are in,” Sansa said, smiling at Arya.

Arya mumbled incoherently and gestured for Sansa to leave her room. She stretched and rolled over to grab her phone and check her messages. Her mother and father had texted her and wished her a good morning and a pleasant first day on campus, which is exactly what she would expect from them. Bran sent her an article about the leading female figures in kickboxing, and Rickon sent her a meme about college.

Beneath all the messages was a text from an unknown number.

 _Hey Arya, it’s Gendry. Your brother gave me your number. He told me you’re going to the same University as us so I just wanted to see how you’re doing_ , the text read.

Arya felt her cheeks flush with embarrassment, indignation, and something else she couldn’t put her finger on. Her finger hovered over the keyboard for a minute or so until she ultimately deleted his text. She didn’t need anyone. She needed to remind herself of that fact.

 _I don’t need anyone. I don’t need Gendry_ , she told herself. She almost believed it.

When Arya came down the stairs to eat breakfast with Sansa and Jon, she found them staring at her expectantly as they hovered over the dining table, which was filled to the brim with breakfast goods. Arya raised an eyebrow at them.

“Am I supposed to understand what all of this is?” She asked, skepticism seeping into her tone.

“Can’t we just do something nice for you, ace?” Jon asked, smirking at Arya.

“We just wanted to make sure this day starts out good for you,” Sansa said, smiling at Arya.

They both seemed so desperate to please her that Sansa didn’t even comment on Arya’s ripped tights and boots, or on the large black shirt she wore as a dress that had a copious amount of holes in it. She didn’t even comment on Arya’s hair, which stuck up in every direction due to the fact that she didn’t brush it. Jon looked at her and winked. She grinned at him and sat down. Maybe this wouldn’t be too bad.

Arya dug into her breakfast, absolutely ravenous. Sansa had the good grace to hide her disgust as she daintily patted her mouth with a napkin. Jon stared at Arya as they both ate, smiling at her fondly. By the end of breakfast, Arya had syrup smeared all over her chin. Sansa coughed and looked at her pointedly.

“What”? Arya asked, nonplussed.

“Please wipe your face, Arya,” Sansa said, smiling at her.

“Or what?” Arya grinned.

“Or we’ll have to hose you down out back. Clean your face, kid,” Jon said, elbowing Arya and chuckling.

Arya rolled her eyes and wiped her face. She was glad for their banter. Even though they were trying way too hard to make her happy, she could always count on the friendly discourse that occurred at breakfast every morning.

“So, what’s on the docket today?” Arya asked.

“Well, first we’re going to give you a tour of the campus, then show you the buildings you have class in, grab your books—“ Sansa began.

“Gendry’s going to come with us. He should be here any minute,” Jon said, looking at his phone.

The hair on Arya’s neck stood up and her whole body froze.

“Oh, great. Gendry’s a good guy. Is that cool Arya?” Sansa asked, looking at Arya.

Suddenly it felt like she couldn’t breathe. Her scars began to pulse and her forehead broke out into a cold sweat.

“Gendry?” Arya asked, her face paling.

“Yeah, you remember him, right? Are you alright, Arya?” Sansa asked, looking concerned as her voice began to sound very far away.

Suddenly the doorbell sounded and Jon leapt from his chair.

She couldn’t do this. She couldn’t see him so soon. Not after what he had seen. She wouldn’t be able to handle his looks of pity and the gentle tones he used with her.

Gendry walked through the door, looking just as tall and muscular as she had seen him a year ago, except now, he had some scruff. Arya’s insides fluttered as she stared at him, but she quickly squelched the feeling. She didn’t need anyone, especially not Gendry. She rubbed her thighs absentmindedly as her scars began to pulse with the beat of her heart, searing hot through her tights.

“Hey, Arya,” Gendry said, giving Arya a wide smile.

“Hey,” she said, a tight smile gracing her lips.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Arya tours the campus with Sansa, Jon, and Gendry.
> 
> TRIGGER WARNINGS   
> mention of sexual assault, self harm, and blood

Sansa, Jon, and Gendry began to talk all at once at the dining table, quickly enjoying each other’s company. Arya focused on her pancakes as she felt a bead of sweat roll down her spine. Her head shot up as she saw everyone looking at her.

“What?” she said.

“Gendry asked you a question, ace,” Jon said, smiling at her good naturedly.

“What? Oh. I have to use the bathroom, I’ll be right back,” she said, ignoring the looks that everyone shot her. 

When she got to the bathroom, she splashed water onto her face and neck. She took a deep breath and stared at her reflection. Her eyes looked darker than they used to, giving her face a haunted look. No matter how much she slept, there were permanent bags underneath her eyes. Her skin looked paler than it used to be. She sighed.

 _You are Arya Stark. You are strong. No one can tell you otherwise,_ she thought, giving herself a stern look.

A knock sounded at the door.

“Arya? You in there?” Gendry asked, his voice behind the door.

“Yeah, I’ll be out in a sec,” she called, her voice sounding strained.

“Jon and Sansa wanted me to tell you that we’re leaving in five, okay?” Gendry said.

Arya took a deep breath. It was just a few hours with him. She could do this. She opened the door and looked up at him, noticing a few spots of grease on his forehead.

“You’ve got something on your forehead,” she said, walking past him.

She didn’t wait for a reply.

 

She went down the stairs and joined her brother and sister. They both smiled at her encouragingly and she fought the urge to smack them, feeling annoyed that they were trying so hard to make her happy. Gendry joined them a moment later, his face clean of grease. He looked over at Arya, catching her gaze. He winked.

“You guys ready to go?” Jon asked.

“As ready as I’ll ever be,” Arya said, giving her brother a smile.

“That’s the spirit,” Gendry said, smirking at Arya.

She glared at him and then looked over to see Sansa watching their exchange with a bemused look. She gave Arya a slow smile and shook her head. Arya flushed deeply and glared at her sister.

As the four began to walk towards campus, Arya suddenly regretted her decision to wear all black. The Southern sun beat down heavily on her back as sweat began to collect at the nape of her neck. She gazed at her brother and sister with disdain, noticing their lightweight, summery clothing. Even Gendry wasn’t wearing black.

“Lookin’ a little hot there, Stark. Need to go back and change?” Gendry asked, giving Arya a shit-eating grin.

“Fuck off, Waters. I’m fine,” she said, gritting her teeth.

“So, do you always wear only black? You look like someone’s disaffected niece,” he said, smirking down at her.

“And you look like a Dave Grohl knock off,” she snarled.

“I’m supposed to be offended by that?” he said, smiling at her crookedly.

“Ugh. Whatever,” she said, ignoring his chuckle as she sped up to catch up to Sansa.

She caught up to Sansa and intertwined their hands as they all approached the main quad, their hands swinging between them lightly. The late summer breeze tickled her cheeks and she took a deep breath.

As she exhaled, she observed the scenery around her. The campus was obviously beautiful. Adorned with large weeping willow trees, fig trees, and lavender bushes, the quad had an almost ethereal quality to it. She felt herself soften at the sight of it. Maybe college wouldn’t be so bad.

“It’s beautiful, isn’t it?” Sansa said, watching her with a satisfied smile.

Arya nodded, smiling widely.

“It not the North, but I think its important that we learn to appreciate different kinds of beauty, you know?” Sansa said, sounding surprisingly serious.

“What do you mean?” Arya asked, curious.

“I think that when you’ve lived in only one place your entire life, it can be hard to appreciate things that aren’t familiar to you. Just because its not Winterfell doesn’t mean it can’t be great. Life is so precious and I think it’s just stupid not to appreciate different kinds of beauty, you know?” Sansa said, smiling at her sister. 

Arya hummed noncommittally, but secretly she agreed. Maybe before the incident, she would have scoffed at what Sansa said and told her she was living in a fairytale. That was before, though. Things were different now. She was used to being in such a dark and dreary place that it was refreshing to see her own life through a new perspective.

“The South is better than the North. That’s just a fact,” Gendry said, staring at Arya with a look that made her want to punch him.

“Oh, shut up, Gendry,” Sansa said, smiling.

“Remember, Waters. You’re surrounded by Northerners right now,” Jon said, clapping a hand on Gendry’s shoulder and shaking him good-naturedly.

“How could I forget?” He asked, looking at Arya.

She looked away, her ears hot. She was grateful that she decided to wear her hair down this morning.

“So, are we going to sit around and daydream or are you going to show me where my classes are?” Arya asked, looking and her brother and sister.

“Oh! Right. Well, you’re very lucky. All of your classes are really close together, which I can tell you, is not normal at all…” Sansa began, her voice fading as Arya began to tune out. She looked over her shoulder and paused when her gaze landed on Gendry. He stared at her unabashedly, crooking his eyebrow and smiling at her. Her face burned at the sight of it.

 

xx

 

Arya stared at her canvas. It had been a week since she had arrived at college, and her first day of classes was tomorrow. She would never admit it, but she was nervous. And for the life of her, she couldn’t figure out why. It was three in the morning when she gave up on the idea of sleep and instead began to take out her anger on her canvas.

Today’s painting was bathed in crimson and burgundy, the colors of blood. More often than not, when she was angry she tended to paint self-portraits. The painting that sat in front of her was no different. If there was one thing she loved about college already, it was that her siblings wouldn’t dare to tell her parents about her art. 

The painting in front of her was wild and gruesome, depicting a ghoulish version of herself clawing at her face, making blood stream down her cheeks. The blood pooled around her shoulders, nearly drowning her in it. Her eyes were dark and vicious, staring back at Arya as if to say, _this will be you someday._

Arya continued to stare. She wasn’t happy with the painting, nor was she unhappy. Art existed as a way for her to express herself, as it was more often than not impossible for her to do so verbally. After the incident, she locked herself in her room and painted until her hands were numb. Nearly every painting conveyed the same thing: Arya slitting a man’s throat as he sat there, helpless and pleading. Over the course of a few months the subject changed and Arya began to slit her own throat. That was before the hospital, though. She was no longer allowed to make such paintings.

Jon and Sansa understood, though, what their parents could not. When Jon’s girlfriend Ygritte died in a rock climbing accident while he was with her, he began drinking to the point alcoholism and needed an intervention. When Sansa broke both of her arms after being pushed down the stairs by her boyfriend Joffrey, she locked herself in her room and cried all day, for at least a month. They understood pain. Maybe not exactly the kind of pain that Arya felt, but they understood enough that they didn’t worry about what she painted.

The difference between her siblings and Arya was that they found ways to move on. Jon was a mentor and sponsor at an Alcoholics Anonymous group, meeting with recovering addicts twice a week to help as much as he could. Sansa created a campus domestic abuse hotline for students that were too afraid to leave their partners. Soon enough, Jon met Ashara and Sansa met Ned and both her siblings pulled their lives back together, piece by piece.

Though Arya no longer dreamed of harming herself, she dreamed obsessively about killing _him._ In her dreams she would stab him over and over again, bathing her hands in his blood and feeling a wicked sense of justice at watching him bleed out. Her therapist told her she should no longer paint these kinds of things and instead focus on day to day self portraits. She didn’t specify if Arya was not supposed to paint violent self-portraits, though it was implied. Arya chose to ignore her and paint whatever the fuck she wanted.

As she stared at her canvas, she felt a sense of relief that came with every piece of art she constructed. Her chest loosened as she suddenly began to feel tired. This was why she did art. She did it for the feeling of gratitude that came from within when she finally finished a piece. With every piece she poured her problems into, her conscience was lighter, for a few hours at least. 

Arya was climbing into bed when her phone buzzed. 

 _r u up,_ the text read.

Arya frowned and began to type.

 _who is this,_ she wrote.

 _gendry. i wrote u before, remember?_ He texted, as Arya’s breath caught.

 _oh yeah. srry,_ she replied.

_did u delete my text from before?_

_what? no just forgot it was u,_ Arya wrote, typing furiously.

_liar. its ok tho i forgive u :p_

_why are u even up rn_

_why are U even up rn_

_couldn’t sleep_

_me either_

_so u thought u’d text me?_

_yeah y not, were friends_

_are we though?_

Arya held her breath as she watched the reply bubble, her heart beginning to race.

 _don’t u want to be?_ His text read.

Arya inhaled sharply and pushed her phone aside. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath before picking up her phone again. She began to type.

 _sure y not,_ she carefully responded.

_lol. u want to be my friend SO badly dont u_

_the question is why do u want to be friends w a freshman so badly if ur a senior_

_what? cant be friends w a little freshie like u??_

_shut tf up_

_r u nervous about tomorrow?_ He typed, and Arya felt her aggression spike.

 _no. now leave me the fuck alone so I can sleep._ She wrote, her lips pulled into a frown.

_liar :p_

_night Arya_

Arya felt her face soften as she looked into her phone.

_night gendry_

With a sigh, she put her phone on her nightstand and rolled on her side. She thought of the spot of grease on Gendry’s head as she drifted off into a dreamless sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> did anyone catch the captain marvel reference? tee hee ;)


End file.
